sarcaskick | (genessia ic inbox)

Jaune said that she told him she was going to have their baby because they're morons and forgot to use a condom.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around this.

there is literally nothing about that sentence that I believe.

Ask her then. I don't think Jaune would lie about this.

you realize that if that's true she cheated on her boyfriend with someone who sounds just like her boyfriend

which kind of makes me want to puke on several levels

Jaune told me a while ago he had sex with someone he wasn't allowed to talk about because they didn't believe they were ever going to actually be loved by anyone. I didn't in a million years think it would be her or I would've given you a heads up sooner.

I didn't know she had a boyfriend but that's disturbing. Maybe she has some kind of voice thing.

well she sure won't be if she sleeps around behind her boy toy's back

did JAUNE know? because if he did that takes him to a low I'm almost impressed by

You've got that right.

Jaune is- or was, dating someone too. I know he said he was going to break things off with him though, I'm not sure if he's fine it yet. I can't be sure if he knew about her though since any time she comes up it's "she's really not that's bad" followed by "I'm not supposed to talk about her." Or in this case followed by him finding out she was faking pregnancy to laugh at his freak out.

[ Well, shit. That sounds like exactly the kind of prank she would pull if she slept with someone. Which means it probably actually happened.

Which means he is hella unsure about where her head is at. ]

man I don't even know where to start with my questions

I guess "what the fuck" is the best place to start

One of many questions we both share today.

... more importantly, do we play along? Because admittedly I can see this turning out hilarious

As a fellow assumed godparent of the baby I would expect no less.

That they actually didn't use a condom means there's probably a pregnancy test in her bathroom trash. Can you check what brand it is? We could buy a new one and draw a positive in, tell her you were taking out the trash and saw the good news, convince her she actually is and just the it out too soon.

I am also open to better ideas, I admit I have a tendency to do either underwhelmingly or overwhelmingly when it comes to pranks.

The only way I could make that better would be slipping something into her breakfast to fake morning sickness, but I think we can skip that detail. Not sure drugging my roommate would be smart.

This'll only last for as long as it takes for her time of the month to come back around, so we'll have to capitalize asap

"AND SHE SAYS SHES GOING TO NAME OUR DAUGHTER THE LIGHT IN MY LIFE CINDER" -Jaune Arc, a few minutes ago

I'm not against making her sick for a while, but that's ultimately your call. Anyone else we should involve?

[ THAT PART ISN'T NEARLY AS FUNNY TO HIM so he's just going to go straight to the second part ]

we could do a baby shower type of thing. Yang knows how to plan parties. When do people do baby showers I have no idea

[ It isn't nearly as funny to Weiss either, which is why she's okay with actually making her sick. Emerald is kinda a dick. ]

Usually a lot further down the line, but we could just write it off as we wanted to surprise her. ...Does she have enough actual friends to pull that off or would it literally just be you, Yang, and Jaune at the party? And.. her boyfriend.

What are we going to do about him? He probably doesn't deserve this.

[ On one hand, he doesn't really give a shit about David himself. He barely asks Emerald about him, she barely mentions him, and that's fine. But Emerald doesn't do things that she doesn't want to if she doesn't have to, so if she's actually still with David then there's a reason. Maybe she's milking something out of him. Maybe he's actually good for her?

He sure doesn't know. ]

maybe we ditch the party idea then. if she wants to tell him, that's her business.

... boy this is a mess

It's a mess they made, then rolled around in. She apparently told a virgin boy to pull out, it isn't like she wasn't actually risking this.

(genessia ic inbox)

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